Many times in life we are given a chance to start over. Sometimes we unconsciously manifest a new beginning but never really know how to get to it. However, the magic of life is that we are not alone. We also have the universe and its endless energy constantly working and creating in our favor. And just when we least expect it, we are given the gifts we need.
For the last 3 years it seems like I have been in overdrive. I have been working as much as possible, eating when convenient (healthy mostly), and for the most part taking care of my mind and body. I take pride in balancing out every part of my life even on the days that I am super tired. I like being in control of my life but sometimes it catches up to me and I forget to surrender to the will of that which is bigger than me. Sometimes I ignore it, actually A LOT of times I ignore it. Maybe its from surrendering too much in my past and as a result I keep a strong guard (more like a force field) up. But the universe always has a way of making us listen.
Recently I got sick, really sick. It happened fast. I hadn’t been feeling “myself” for two weeks and after a massage on a Saturday afternoon it hit a climax. For the record, massages are made to remove toxins from the muscles and tissues throughout the body. What I did not realize was that the herbal supplements, along with the new protein powder, I had been taking was not metabolizing. Therefore the supplements that had not metabolized in my body were suddenly flooding my liver. In less than 5 hours I was in my bed cringing from abdominal pain and a fever. After 24 hours of breaking my fever with Advil only to have it come right back, I decided to have a friend take me to the emergency room. I did not realize how bad it was until they took my temperature. 103 degrees. After many many blood tests, doctors determined my liver functions were critically high (technically you could say I had been poisoned). Fast forward to 24 hours in the hospital and my nurses deciding that I was going to escape from being stir crazy (hospitals are so boring), the only real conclusion the doctors could come up with is that my liver just does not metabolize well. For the record: I always had issues as a child that would pop up every now and then. And just like that, I was forced by my body to stop everything.
Health problems do something to the mind. For me, someone who does a lot of yoga and makes pretty healthy eating choices, it was a bit of a mindf**k to realize that one of my most precious organs wasn’t doing great. But even deeper than that, one word kept coming to mind: Detox. While sitting in the hospital I was detoxing from the work I had to do in the real world, I was detoxing the ego that told me I needed to get things done. And what was beyond that mental cleansing was something beautiful. I began to realize the relationships I had with people. Everyone rallied around me and made sure I had everything I needed. Everyone asked questions to make sure I was getting answers because they cared that much for me. I realized sitting in that hospital room that these relationships (my family, partner, friends, colleagues…) are who make me me in this world. Even people who I have never met on social media, all the way in Europe and South Africa, reached out to offer support. I realized that the work I feel that I am sometimes doing alone has never been alone. My relationships carry me to do better.
Yes, the universe sent me the offering of detoxification. Physically I have been detoxing my liver for almost 2 weeks now and am in the beginning stages of major dietary lifestyle changes so my liver can last the rest of my life. Mentally and spiritually I am purifying my thoughts. I tell myself that everything comes on its own time and that my force field of control can ease up a bit. I have been able to give myself permission to slow down and remember what matters and who I do my best for.
The art of detoxification is a gift that comes when we enter a new level of existence. Something that once served us is no longer serving us and we can give that energy back to the Earth. So maybe with those of you that decide to read this blog, I offer you one thing to cleanse yourself of. Maybe food, or a habit you have been hoping to break, or maybe a thought you want to change about yourself. And know that the best gifts of change take time to master.